Unlocking Success: The Underrated Power of Workplace Friendships
Most people do not think that it is a good idea to get too friendly with a colleague. I grew up reading Spy vs Spy in MAD magazine. The white spy and the dark spy are continuously trying to outwit each other. Life has not changed. Yet this is a lost opportunity to create meaning at work. I read Gianpiero Petriglieri article on How to Make Better Friends at Work and thought I share the gems.
A friend can help us discover meaning in the work we do
"A colleague can't be a friend"
192,000 impressions and 932 votes later, the answer is clear. Colleagues are not friends. One in six respondents felt that their colleagues were not the kind who they would want to be friends with. I would say that reflects more on the culture of the company and not the colleagues. One in five respondents say that it is hard to be friends with someone you compete with.
People who responded to my poll mirror the reality that other researchers have found. 76% reported that they had difficulty making connections with their work teammates, and 58% described their relationships at work as superficial. <read more>
Friendships blossom where people with similar interests spend time together doing shared tasks. Uncertainty and interdependence forge close bonds.
I feel closest to my friends with whom I went to college. The two years spent in college with friends meant that we worked in groups for our assignments, stayed in the residential complex together. Late night parties, laughter and those life changing friendships all were nurtured in an unhurried manner. They gave me the comfort that I was accepted for who I am - complete with my flaws. These friendships have outlasted our career transitions.
The same closeness can give us the confidence to be ourselves at work. Friends at work can often help us find meaning in the work we do. In a world where team compositions are fluid, it is harder to build deep bonds.
The magic of travel with colleagues
During the course of my career, I have travelled with colleagues. Getting caught up in snowstorms, flight delays and lost luggage were the greatest bonding moments with colleagues. I saw them as human - beyond the roles they did. When they got calls from their loved ones I saw them as a parent, a spouse or a lover. These are bonds that have survived transitions that life has offered. It changed the way we dealt with each other at work.
There is nothing better than travel to build deep connections with colleagues
Would I recommend building bonds with colleagues? Absolutely yes. We could without more colleagues - but we can never have enough friends.
For further reading and research on the topic, you might find these resources helpful:
“The Power of Work Friends” by Jon Clifton in Harvard Business Review
“The Different Types of Workplace Friendships” in Psychology Today
For podcasts and videos, consider these: